TRUE STORY: When JCVD tried to seduce my girlfriend. Jean Claude Van Damme is in the club, surrounded by chicks of all nationalities. I’m not surprised. I grew up watching Kickboxer and Lionheart, so he’ll always be a superstar to me. Dragon-i is an infamous club in Hong Kong, owned by the son of a reputed gangster. It’s popular with locals and expats, especially investment bankers. The owner also owns HK’s largest modeling agency, so Wednesday is Models Night – where all of his (mostly European) girls eat and drink for free. It’s genius. Do models even eat? How much can they drink before some douche starts paying for them? That’s why expat bankers love it so much; it’s a rarity in Asia to find a steady supply of single, hot, white girls. It’s also the go-to spot for visiting celebrities and sports starts – Dr. Dre, Harvey Weinstein, Michael Jordan, LeBron, etc. I’d go there at least 2-3 times a week. They also have perfect bathrooms for doing blow. Although I was once frisked by a bouncer for using one of the dedicated stalls too many times in a night. “Bro, I had chicken vindaloo for dinner.” When my girlfriend spots JCVD on the other side of the club, she’s excited, and (almost ironically) determined to have her picture taken with him. “Are you Van Damme?” He nods, reaches out to shake hands, and immediately winces in pain. “Sorry. Some girl wanted a picture of my cock so I took a Viagra and then went to the bathroom to take a pic. That was 20 minutes ago, and now my jeans are so fucking tight that it hurts.” Before she can even ask for the photo, this little Asian girl comes charging up to the table, gives my girlfriend the death stare, and pulls Van Damme by the arm. “If you want to fuck me, we must leave now.” She doesn’t even wait for a response. “If you wanna fuck, we leave now.” Van Damme gets up, looks at my girlfriend, and shrugs as if to say, “Whaddya gonna do?” Then, as he is being led away, he turns back and looks her up and down. Presumably thinking she’s another groupie, he shouts back, “You can call me tomorrow if you want. I’m at The Four Seasons. I am staying under the name: Jean. Claude. Van. Damme.“
by dailygraze

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